Disorder

That word...is as politely as I can put it, sure everyone lives with it!!! Why?? I have never been quite convinced about the explanations, even the classic " that's how it is..." or the typically and very Indian response " what to do?".... The disorder that has been playing havoc is mostly the one of the mind. Hell!!! I can almost always deal with it, when it is in my mind. But it is painful when faced with a disorder in the family. What do you do when you grow up with it and surrounded by it? How do you try and accept it as a diseased mind in some events and not in others? How do you decide that comment with a sting in it's tail was one made by a man sick and not by the father who on occasion has extremely cheerful disposition? Questions, answers to which are never really acceptable. Neither does the "what to do?" help much. How do you deal with it? Is my best possible response good enough? Have I reached the best possible response? Am I a f...... saint??!!! Noway!!! And there are days when I wish myself away....and being away I wish for a lovely home & family story....yeah! like the one in the movies...or the books or like the one in my mind.

I am more than convinced like many others about " It's all in the mind." Sure pal!!! and so try to get a command over it!!! Well then I might as well climb Mt. Everest...for what? you ask...Hell!!! Didn't Sir Hillary say it once" because it is there!!!" What am I waiting for?? The usual a happy ending...for the sick to be cured or the diseased to be healed. Not every miracle needs a saint or divine intervention... or does it? Dont we have enough of that?? Well today was better than day before yesterday, the fight has eased off, I dont know if it ever gets over.... but I do know this, the disease still exists. When man's nature or disposition fuses with his diseased mind, I dont know if one hold's out for hope or does one resign oneself to accept what is....I do know...I will always wish for a better father or a father figure. ...

Birth, tears and responsibility
Baby's first smile
Strengthening belief!!
Always worth it!

Love, didn't exist
nipped in the bud...maybe
realisation, teary-eyed smile
I had someone to love
Always worth it!

Work, money, daily-rut
Like it or not, necessary
A choice just the same
consciously made, well-done
Always worth it!

30 years, fond memories
norms broken, care-free moments
ironic, freedom stolen
yet a life lived
Always worth it!

A beginning..

Welcome to "Life and my two bits", quite self explanatory as a title, but to give you a glimpse about my blog. I shall talk about issues close to my heart, also books, places and people and my country India, life experiences by yours truly amongst the diversity life has to offer.